Mood:
brightNow Playing: Durufle, Kyrie
Topic: charm 101
Hello Darlings! It's high time that we reconvene the shenanigans at Miss O's. And what better moment than a holiday celebrating...whiskey. Surely, you didn't think Feb 14 was about all that lovey dovey business. Lourdes, non! It's about adult beverages. Who doesn't need a petite cocktail at this very moment?
There are so many misconceptions about this day, I feel it is my duty to set the record straight. First of all, did you know that Valentine was the patron saint of beekeeping? So forget about the flowers and chocolates and love notes, Feb 14th is a day to celebrate with honey. That could be Honey Smacks (love that frog!), Honey mustard, Honey-baked ham, Sweet Honey in the Rock, Honey Ryder. N.B. Do not employ honey in a romantic (i.e. naked) scenario. It is a recipe for disaster, unless, of course, you're hoping for a D-I-Y Brazilian. In which case, best of luck with that. Few relationships can withstand that brand of tough love.
Sidebar: Boys and girls should be giving each other flowers all the time, not just one day out of the year. The same goes double for chocolate. And triple for love notes.
Where was I? Ah, yes, the saint of beekeeping. I thought I'd bring to light some little known saints that I feel are worthy of their own holiday. Let's start with Saint Severus of Avranches. He is the patron saint of hat makers and silk workers, and if that doesn't earn him major recognition, I'm going to have to talk to the Pope. Another forgotten saint is Jadwiga of Poland, the patron of queens. J'accepte! I was recently at an event where a man said to me, "You're used to being treated like a queen, aren't you?" Yes, you could call it that. I rewarded him with my most regal smile, and extended my hand to be kissed. Really, Darlings, someone has to do it. Saint Honorius of Amiens watches over pastry chefs and florists. I say Hooray!
Saints Gangulphus and Crispin protect shoemakers. Is there anything more noble? Gangulphus was an upstanding guy, a virtuous, got-your-back kinda friend, who ill-advisedly married a slapper who cheated on him with a priest (!)...who then killed him. Seriously, Darlings, we have a duty to celebrate Gangulphus Day - May 11. Even more tragic is Crispin, who fled religious persecution in Rome, only to wind up preaching Christianity to the Gauls and making shoes by night. And, oh yeah, he was beheaded, probably by some bitchy Manolo-wannabe.
For the alcoholic sluts among you, it is worth mentioning that Nicholas of Myra is the patron saint of the 3 P's: pharmacists, prostitutes, and pawnbrokers. Hey, it takes a village.
Hope your Ballantyne's Day is a sweet one. I will be feasting tonight on pancakes and toasting with the most blessed Saint Veuve of Clicquot. Ah, it's good to be the Queen.
